Creative, Playful, Fun
Student of Human Behavior
Rule #1: Start by being nice
Imagine a scale 1 to 10 where 10 is nice and 1 is mean. Always start at a 10.
Rule #2: Treat them the way they treat you
If you started at a 10 and they responded at a 6, treat them the way they treated you, a 6. How they respond is the new baseline.
Rule #3: Test being nicer often
Treat them the way they treat you but test being nicer from time to time and see how they move on the scale. However they respond, match it, and continue to test again in the future.
Benefits: You don't get walked on. People take you seriously.
Risks: You never know how mean someone will go
Variables: How nice to test from baseline depends on if the issue is related to a factor of survivability or is a meaningless item, with everything else falling in between. When testing on items related to survivability, test only one notch nicer and respond how they respond. When testing on meaningless issues, test back to 9 or 10 and respond how they respond.
Intention: The goal of this method of treating others is not to be the nicest person and not to be a meanest person, but to be an effective person.
The healthy combination of identity/significance is when you do something that gives you identity/significance that you're not doing for identity/significance.
Everyone wants and needs identity/significance but there's something impolitic when we're doing something for specifically identity/significance.
This is just another way of saying "Do What You Love", and do it for no other reason.
Most of us have experienced those completely unbelievable almost divined moments. Those moments that make us ask, did something else make that happen or was this thing that feels so specific really just completely random.
If we look to life for a possible answer, we see that often when it comes to questions with one side or the other perspectives, the answer almost always seems to be somewhere in the middle. And that's what I propose. Maybe it's not predefined and maybe it's not completely random. Maybe it's a little of both.
Intertwining the 4 stages of learning with attitude.
1. Unconscious Mean: Unaware (No Motive)
2. Conscious Mean: Aware (With Motive)
3. Conscious Nice: Aware (With Motive)
4. Unconscious Nice: Unaware (No Motive).
The key there is “Motive”. Nice with motive almost feels slightly deceitful and mean with no motive is not intentional. Makes me wonder if 25% of the people out there are genuinely nice people and are only 25% of the people out there intentionally mean.
John Wooden, known as Coach, led UCLA to record wins in basketball. Throughout his life, he shared the values and life lessons he passed to his players, emphasizing success that’s about more than winning.